What They Didn't Tell Me #1

I realize there are many things no one should reveal about pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum-ness, but I'm willing to share a few surprising, shocking, hilarious, and (almost always) helpful insights:

• If something smells like death, it might be you.
• After birthing a child, you could bleed for six weeks. (I could have my period for almost two months?!)
• You won't enjoy tummy time your own tummy time for about a year. (First the baby bump was in the way, now the problem has migrated north.)
• Engorgement is not as funny as in breast feeding class. You may be swollen from sternum to armpit. 
• You might wake up in an ocean of breast milk. 
• You might stand in a puddle of breast milk.
• Clean becomes a temporary state of being.
• Your son might not be bothered by peeing in his own face.
• Every time you have a feeding, your child will have changed ever so slightly. (It's good to notice, and enjoy each moment.)

I am sure this is only the first installment of "What They Didn't Tell Me." :-)