When the instructor asked if there was anything surprising we had learned last week, I admitted I had resisted. I had had an internal freak out. I didn't want to go through labor and delivery. I fully confessed.
After that, it got better.
I was able to talk about pain management with Dan. I was able to relax when we did breathing exercises, ball exercises and massage. I was able to tell Dan what was working and what wasn't. And, towards the end of class, the instructor said she didn't really want to make me move because I looked totally relaxed.
Success.
Friday I met with my OB and gave her the scoop about my freak out and about what I knew now. Dan and Ann Marie were going to be my support team--they were going to squeeze my hips and count my breaths. They were going to get me through this.
I told Dr. Kelin that I don't really want drugs, but I don't want to get stuck either. I told her I was interested in the narcotics, if I needed them, and I want to get as far into the process as I can without an epidural. BUT, that she should be ready with it. If I had listened to myself in that moment, I would have been proud. I think I probably sounded pretty sure of myself. I know I felt pretty sure about it.
(Come to think of it, I also told her how I felt about the blood thinner plan. I actually felt like a consultant in my own healthcare plan. I think we're going to avoid the switch to heparin for as long as possible. Maybe even after 36 weeks. Kelin is going to double check with perinatalogy to be sure.)
If I were Wile E. Coyote this week, I think I might have looked a little more like this:
That's quite a shift from last week! Only one more week of class--I'm hoping to continue moving through these spaces using the Art of Zen.
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