You do the math

This might get technical, so I'll do my best to stay in reality--and not to give you too many real details. (Some things are best left self-censored.)


I went to my weekly appointment today; I am 36 weeks, 4 days pregnant. What was different about today was that the doc had ordered a growth measurement in addition to my regular ol' ultrasound, and she would check my progress "down there".


I expected to walk away from the office with a "no news is good news" sort of thing.( I mean, I am not really tired of being pregnant, so I am probably not really ready to be done yet.) I thought wrong. Everything about this appointment was a surprise. I think I even told the doctor--multiple times: "I am totally in shock. Speechless. This was not what I was expecting today."


Let's start at the top: the baby's weekly quiz went well. Breathing: check. Large movements: check, check, check. Small movements: don't bother to try to count them. Let's just chalk it up to: this is an active baby. Because I have enough fluid in my uterus the baby has enough space to do all sorts of things, so the technician watched him/her open its mouth and breathe, purse its lips, and swallow. She said that was pretty cool since most of the time there isn't enough room for the chin to have so much space. (And, she reminded me that was because there was a lot of extra fluid. And, should my water break, "I would know". Great. Let's not have that happen in front of a room of 14 year-olds. Please. Please.) I want to avoid the scene that happens at around 1:40:

Then, she measured growth: femur, abdomen, head, and estimated body weight. I'll just give you the stats and you can do the math.
Reminder: the calendar says I am 36 weeks pregnant (I technically have four weeks to go)


Measurements are as follows: 
Femur: 37 weeks
Abdomen: 39 weeks
Head: 41 weeks
Current estimated body weight: 8.5 pounds


Sweet, Jesus. Holy, Mary. Benedicte! The technician said, "You aren't planning to push that out, are you?" This is exactly what I was afraid of--exponential growth. It's not just a theory. (Now figure in the fact that I have four weeks until my due date. You do the math.)


So, basically I am carrying around: 

After hearing all of that, I took a deep breath. In for four, out for four. (Childbirth class is already helping!) I told myself: this is what is. Then, I went to have my own mechanisms poked and prodded. Turns out, I am almost two centimeters dilated. When I hit 10, a baby falls out. Like in the first 45 seconds of this classic informational excerpt:

I asked Dr. Kelin if she wanted to just schedule the C-section now. Doc looked at me sympathetically and suggested we still go ahead with our birth plan. And, we'll just see if it all pans out. She said if there's still a baby in there at the end of next week, we'll try to get it on the books. 
I guess you just never know what's going to happen, do you? And, that is the best thing about life. Spontaneity. Surprise. Miracles. Now, all I have to do is hold on for the ride...and keep breathing. (In for four, out for four...)