To be surrounded by the love of friends

The day after graduation brought more celebration. My friends threw me an amazing baby shower. It was so wonderful to be surrounded by love and generosity; I am so appreciative of all the creative planning, careful attention to detail, and gracious hosting. The theme was Adventures in Babyland, and guests shared stories of their adventures in Babyland--either about their kids or other people's kids. There were some great yarns!

Speaking of yarns, here's where I tell about my adventures in knitting. Result: Barbie shawl. For real.

And, there was cake. Chocolate cake. Divine, sweet, delectable cake.

And, that cake was delicious. 

And, there were gifts. Fun, practical, playful gifts.

Just arrived attire: will be a hit at future parties.

Serendipitous: a mobile for the baby's room that matches the owl theme. Very wise, Deb!

Custom-designed onesies to be featured on future facebook posts--artists to be tagged, of course!

Additions to the new little library!

Jen, the gift attendant, had her hands full. Literally.

 

And, there were friends. Lots of friends. Wonderful, amazing, supportive friends.

Friends in chairs.

Friends in the kitchen.

Friends on the couch.

Even friends on the floor.

To be surrounded by supportive women is a gift. It is one of the best gifts I have ever had the privilege of experiencing in my heart. Sometimes women spend time, energy and effort cutting each other down when we should spend more time lifting each other up. It's an amazing thing to be a woman.

It took me a long time to come to that. 

I thought that you had to have children to be an amazing woman...or to be considered a woman at all. Sometimes I feel like that's in the conversation out in the world--you're not a real woman until you've birthed a person into the world. There were years when I wasn't sure I would have children. I wasn't sure I could. I wasn't sure I would get to make that choice and it took me a long time to be okay with that.

What I came to realize is that you don't have to have children to be an amazing woman. You already are. You are the source of all of life on the planet. You are the energy and power that hold up half the sky. You bring life to all living creatures and care for them in all that you do. You are a woman and that is amazing. You are amazing.

That is why it is truly a gift to be in the presence of and surrounded by the powerful energy and love of women. There really is nothing else like it in the world.

Thanks for being who you are in the world, ladies. You amaze me by who you are. And, for that, I love you.

Dr. Liz

May 19: a great day to graduate.

Susie, Kelly, me, & Mary carrying our hoods into the ceremony.

 

It was sunny and warm and beautiful and wonderful and amazing. 

My family was there, which always means a lot to me. Celebrating something wonderful together is much better than alternative reasons for gathering. I prefer to try to find fun reasons to come together--this was a good one. Even the nephews made the trip from Bismarck. Rumor has it that they had the best seats in the house--behind the bleachers--AND they got hauled around in a golf cart to and from the car. Tory shouted, "Sucks to be you!" when they got picked up and carted away. (Seen here from the left: brother Nick, nephew Jeff, Dad, nephew Tory, and Mom. And, of course, baby bump!) When the wind blowing in my favor, I'd like to think the black robe hid "my condition" a little more discretely.

My family. Aren't they the best?

The Kellers were there, too! It was very special to have Maggie and Pam there as well. Seriously, I don't think I could have better in-laws than this!

Who could ask for more a more supportive family than I have? Seriously.

I have come to really know the power of a partnership. This is my adviser, Vivian. The acknowledgement written in my dissertation can never do justice to convey her spirit. She is an amazing woman who is steadfast, reliable, challenging, engaging, funny, witty, caring and committed. I can never thank her enough for the phone calls, office meetings, emails, advice, hugs and understanding. She really is inspiring and "full of life". I think I might just name my firstborn after her; let's hope it's a girl. (Or that we move to France. Vivian is the male version. Vivienne is the female version.) :-)

My support team's captain: Vivian Johnson, the best adviser a girl could ever ask for.

It really was a lovely ceremony with a fabulous commencement speaker who talked about the power of service to others and to community. He shared stories about revolutionaries that were applicable to each group of graduates. (When he mentioned Wendy Kopp, I bit my tongue. I almost had to cover my mouth so that words would not shoot out. Not all revolutionary ideas are carried out as intended.) 

And, after everyone was hooded, it was great to remove the regalia and enjoy the freedom of completion and the moments of celebration.

When you see him, ask him about his shirt. :-)

Looking forward to celebrating the next Dr. Keeling in the family--in a few years.

Nephew Jeff tries out the tam. It's a good look for you, kiddo. As Tory would say, "What's up Doc?"

Childbirth: Part trois. La classe finale.

The final childbirth class of the three part series is complete. But, not without incident.

I was feeling pretty confident about the whole labor and delivery gig. I felt like I knew my options post-hospital confinement and that I was ready to labor as long as I could (before succumbing to an epidural). 

There were still things that I didn't know/hadn't decided/was unsure about going into class. Then, we watched another birthing video. (Seriously.) In this one, the woman is delivering naturally (of course...those are the only videos they showed...I guess a woman lying on a table dead from the waist down isn't as interesting). Once she gets to the end stages of active labor and moves into "transition" (when the baby comes out), the midwife brings in a full-length mirror. No kidding. She proceeds to set up said mirror at the "business end" of the bed so that the woman can watch her child enter the world.

As this is happening on screen, I elbow Dan forcefully and run my fingers across my neck while shaking my head from side-to-side emphatically. No way. Unfortunately, we were sitting in the front row of class this week. Everyone in the back saw what had happened and giggled. I heard one mamma say, "Oh, Liz.") 

One thing about delivery became abundantly clear in that moment. There is no way in hell I will have a full-length mirror display the miracle of birth for me to watch. No way. I'm planning to keep letting it live on like a mysterious miracle.

And, though it's no doctorate, after three sessions, I feel like I earned this:

Quiz Delay Tactic (or You Look Huge)

I show up looking pregnant during every hour that I teach these days. It's been no surprise that I am with child. This week one of my Honors 9 classes bombarded me with questions. It was the Great Vocab Quiz Delay Tactic.

The first minute of class sounded like:

Can you see your feet?

Do you sleep on your stomach?

What happens if you sleep on your stomach?

Can you bend over?

Doesn’t that squish the baby?

Doesn’t that hurt the baby?

Can you go swimming?

Doesn't that drown the baby?

Why can’t I tell you that you look huge?

Aren’t you due soon?

Are you scared to have a baby?

Oh, dear.

Here's a Scantron form, children. It's the last quiz (for them) of the year. Probably not the last interrogation for me.

Guest Blog: Motherhood Memories by Jean Ann

Here's the first (of many??) guest blog posts; this one is from my Great Aunt Jean Ann. She is really great and raised really, really great sons. Thanks for reading, responding and contributing to our blog!



MOTHERHOOD MEMORIES

I can't recall the "firsts" instead I recall the fondest, tenderest and most amusing moments that stand out above the rest, not necessarily the ones I valued at the moment but they have taught me the most about not taking things too seriously. I vividly remember their expressions, precious and uninhibited personalities. Life is a mirror to laugh at ourselves and value the laugh lines.

Kids cause gray hair :-( and laugh lines :-) Each are earned.

 Here goes: a potpourri of memories from my darling boys at different ages and times in their pre school and early elementary school years. Parenting is fun.

My 7 yr old son proudly presented me with his very carefully hand made Mother's Day card written in his best handwriting: the front cover presented a "Happy Mother's Day" with a hand illustrated happy : )) mother. Inside his very carefully thought and after-thought verse read, "To the best Mother I know, but you're the only mother I know." His intelligence had a way of debating his own thoughts!!! What a dear. I remember his precious honesty, wit and clever thoughtfulness. Not bad for a little 7 yr old.
"Mom, do you like crock pots?" from one of my little ones instantly upon returning from a top secret Mother's Day shopping mission. Kind of reminds me of this little girls' attempt to keep her Mother's Day gift a secret, too.

BEWARE of SHARE and TELL/Avoid it at any cost!!!

My very creative son, a little first grader had just received a red plastic tape recorder from Santa. Finding ways to use it was definitely a top priority!! The boys all had their bedrooms and bathroom upstairs. The NIGHTLY bedtime routine was predictable and so was I. They ran back and forth from their bedrooms and to the bathroom to play in the water. After my many commands to go to bed, I yelled upstairs to "GO To BED", which set this taping incident up perfectly! Imagine a young child calculating this entire incident!!! Clever, bright young child. He proudly took it to Share and Tell with a very Important recording. "This is how my mom sounds when she yells at us to GET TO SLEEP!!! He proceeded to play the tape!! Many of my friends had children in the same grade and were bursting with amusement as they retold the story to me at a later date. I guess at least it didn't end like this kid's show and tell experience.

Another son in nursery school was gathered with his class in a semi circle on the floor for their annual Christmas party. As the class sang the required songs he was oblivious to the program agenda and focused on clapping (rock style) to the beat of the music..Christmas carols, no less.

A classic hunting season trophy appeared once at show and tell. When it was my son's turn to share he eagerly went to the cloak room where his book bag which held any little boys dream.... A bloody deer head and antlers in tack that he retrieved from the alley garbage as they walked en route to school. He shared it in living color and that he was planning to take it after school to a merchant who paid for deer hides, etc. By the time school was out for the day, not only was the cloak room rank, so was our car upon delivering it to the merchant!!

Might have been just as messy.

I've discovered life doesn't turn out the way I plan, but the way it is suppose to turn out, even the sharpest and deepest pain of all. Motherhood is about imparting our best with love and acceptance and leaving the rest. Hang on and enjoy the ride!!!

Motherhood advice: enjoy the ride.

 With much love,
Auntie Jean Ann

Calling a Truce

Mother's Day.


One year ago today, I cried in church thinking about women, mothers, and motherhood.


This year has given American women many reasons to cry. We live in a time when society doesn't vocally appreciate the people who hold up half the sky.

• Politicians want to regulate women's reproductive systems.
• They want to make policies restricting our access to health care--including access to mammograms, cancer screenings, contraceptives and reproductive counseling.
• They propose forcing women to have internal ultrasounds during procedures. (Apparently it doesn't matter if you feel uncomfortable having a giant dildo shoved up your vagina. It also doesn't matter if you've been sexually abused, raped or traumatized.) 



Look how much progress we've made towards gender equality.

• There were no women on the board to address Congress on the issues of women's healthcare. (However, there was a Catholic priest. Makes sense, right?)
• Talking heads call us sluts if we stand up for the right for women to have choices about their bodies (whether or not we take advantage of those choices makes no difference to them).

• When/if we take maternity leave, it is called "disability leave."
• In the U.S., women are paid for six weeks of maternity leave--and that's only because the medical community agrees that it takes that long for our bodies to heal. (Not because that is what is best for women or babies.)
• Politicians and others question the validity of having policies that ensure women receive equal pay in the workplace. (BTW, research shows that women DON'T receive equal pay now, even with current policies in place.)
• There are women who have publicly said that they think that women shouldn't have the right to vote--that things would be better if women didn't vote (one of those women: Ann Coulter).
• Businesses and the public put limits on breastfeeding mothers.
• And, this week Time magazine's cover article challenges some women's stance on breastfeeding and parenting.



How "Time" mag honors women this week.

 
These are only the incidents from the top of my head about how women have been treated over the course of this year in the United States. It makes me sad to see that "Mommy Wars" that started in the 1970s, when a majority of Americans feared that working mothers were a threat to domestic/social stability, are still going on. According to a Pew survey in 2009, that is no longer the case; 80% of Americans think that the presence of women in the workforce has been a positive development. (The number was higher among the younger generation.) The War on Mothers had diversified to include issues well beyond the workforce. Some continuing to pit women against men and women against women.

There appears to be a few solutions: 

• Men and women should take equal responsibility for protecting women's rights and the rights of children
• Men should take responsibility for their children (including childcare and parenting)
• Americans should have more parental leave/child care policies
• Politicians should reflect and rely on research) on policies protecting women to see if there is a reason to change/adjust (I know, relying on research is so radical!)
• Women should support each other
• Call a truce on Mommy Wars.

Peace to all women today. May you be loved, cherished, and honored for the power that you hold within you. May you always know: you are woman enough. You are amazing--and you deserve to know and experience that every single day of the year.

The bottom of the "to-do" pile

Once the big D-day passed successfully, I was able to get focused on the "to-do" pile. It included all sorts of items from November to May. And it needed attending to.
I came across a few items that are worth posting here.


When I told my ninth grade students I was pregnant (months ago when I sometimes wore maternity clothes for novelty, not necessity), I gave them an opportunity to suggest names for our un-gender-fied infant. Here are a couple of keepers:

Leo Nardo, Caleb Achmed, Bon qui qui (got several votes), Purpledrankisha, and Kool-aid Yum!    YIKES!


Several students suggested we name our child after them. (Obviously, Caleb had second thoughts.) Jeremy Johnson prefers that we choose his name over his second suggestion: Lebron.

There were two girls who had LISTS of name suggestions. (Do they tote these around with them in their school planners?? ) A few had heart-dotted i's--is that necessary? Really? One wondered if I was opposed to a Hmong name before he suggested Pazong, meaning sweet flower. 


I don't know that it helped us get to any final choice, but it did give us a few laughs and a great conversation about 14 year-olds.


And, for the record, I think we've chosen first names. (The reason I say "I think" is because I did think that we had settled on names about a month ago, then Dan rescinded his vote on the girl name. We went back to the drawing board. I'm going to be prepared for any changes by keeping the conversation between Dan and me.) The debate still continues about the middle names, so I am keeping my lips zipped about any of it.


The world will know soon enough.